I know this feeling well. There have been days, vacations, and other periods of time where this feeling was hard to get around. Times when I could not even get myself on the floor, let alone on my mat.
When I began 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training, after years of sometimes random and sometimes consistent practice, I spent one weekend a month practicing yoga with an intensity I’d rarely ever accessed. It was amazing. Still, even though we were encouraged to have a regular practice outside of training, I found it hard to get on my mat more than once a week. The number of times I judged and criticized myself for falling short on this mandate, would astound you.
Once I started teaching regularly, I found that it was easier to dedicate myself to a regular practice. Likely because I had some important realizations.
My practice is done by me, for me.
It isn’t to prove my worth or worthiness to myself or anyone else, ever.
Yoga is not another measuring stick for me to use to measure my worth or worthiness. As a human being I have inherent value, inherent worthiness.
I am in a different place physically and mentally every single day, I can use kindness and compassion to accommodate that while still being dedicated.
Allowing space for me to walk away from my mat sometimes helps me to return to it regularly without resentment.
Sometimes I can tell myself to “just try” and get on my mat and see what I can do.
Practice doesn’t have to be perfect (p.s. It never will be). It never has to be anything other than what it is.
My practice is always enough. I am always enough.